Be prepared to be pooped, peed and spat on

The funny thing about parenting is… that you get spit at quite often.

We’ve all been pooped and peed on, puked on and spat on right?

The little one ended up in A&E a few weeks ago, the first trip wasn’t too horrific except for the spectacularly long wait given we were classed as ‘not urgent’.

The next trip, 4 days later, with a very ill looking toddler who’d been up all night the nigth before screaming and couldn’t eat or swallow was still a long wait to be seen. Long enough for her to puke all over right as a nurse said “Is she okay, she looks like she might be about to throw up” and yeap, right on queue. All over me. All over my jeans. All over my top. And yeap, I had to sit there for a good 6 more hours in puke. I really stank. She was then admitted as her bloods were all over the place, and she wasn’t eating or drinking so was dehydrated.

The reason for our numerous visits to A&E are long and complicated and involved several GP visits, blood tests and a child who was not able to walk and screaming in agony with sore legs.

Alas, so hence our 2nd visit to A&E in 4 days after another GP visit. As a parent, you just know when something isn’t right with your child. It really is a parent’s instinct and luckily, our GP’s trusted that we weren’t over reacting.

The second trip to A&E saw them take more bloods, which actually showed something was wrong – the first set of bloods exactly a week before had showed inflammation and as per our GP’s orders, we traipsed back to the hospital and were sent home as she ‘seemed’ well.

The bloods on the second visit showed her white blood count was off, her inflammation levels were through the roof and a number of different issues….but none could be married.

So at about 6pm, we were given word she would have to be admitted. I hate seeing my little one so ill, and I hate seeing all the pain she had to go through for bloods and canullas. A drip was hooked up and promptly taken off when the registrar asked (demanded to see her walk) – keep in mind, she hadn’t eaten all day. Was extremely weak and lethargic and was extremely upset. We once again got the feeling that we were ‘those’ parents.

Upon admittance, we were given a room in isolation and had numerous visits from pretty much everyone – neurology, ortho and RCSI.

The Pediatrician was lovely. She assured me that we were not over-reacting. Something was wrong. They just don’t know what. She is still lovely, and she has since said to us she was extremely worried as Paige looked so, so ill.

We got taken out of isolation and put on the main ward and got to know all the other parents and nurses and babies. Paige was a little bundle of energy that as time went on began to feel much better and was singing to all the tiny 3&4 month olds.

Mummy and daddy were totally exhausted and drained. Thankfully, I had an angel in disguise who just happens to be the aunt of my brother’s boyfriend who works in the canteen and made sure I was fed each and every day.

On the Friday we met with more specialists – this time, Rheumatology, Infectious Diseases and Physio and we discovered she is hypermobile!

I finally got my shower on the Saturday morning after being puked on the previous Wednesday. Yes I stank. I wreaked.

But she got day release over the weekend so off we went to various places and had some fun.

Back we went on the Sunday night, ready for more bloods and a bone scan on the Monday and my god did she fight the sedation. It was rather cute to watch her wander round and chat with me really dazily. But she had been on a strict nil-by-mouth from 9am so it was heartbreaking to watch her as she was so hungry.

We finally got the all-clear to be released. There was nothing major showing up – it was all very odd.

It was very, very nice to get home to our own beds for all of us, and this brings me to the spitting.

I got a call on the Wednesday morning to say she needed penicillin. She tested positive for Group A Strep which we all carry, but it could potentially be Strep Throat. I was actually told it was Strep Throat but after meeting with the Dr on Monday, it isn’t.

Our prescription also got lost which was heaps of fun and we had to organise a new one, but with our own GP. We were told that this stuff is particularly vile. And she wasn’t wrong.

Paige has since spat it out, even in our faces whenever we’ve tried to give it to her. We’ve hidden it in everything. Yoghurts, nutella, juice. But nothing would work…well until we found the squashums yoghurts that come in fruit shaped pouches. They worked a treat-until we went to find more and we couldn’t. They’d sold out- so every other parent must have been aware of this truck to hide medicine in them but us.

But she was going back to nursery anyway the next day.

So now that she’s at nursery, she’ll happily take her medicine for them. Not a bother to her at all. She doesn’t spit in their faces. That’s reserved for us…yes child,   I only gave birth to you and you spit in my face. Cheers for that.

So our way round trying to administer her prescribed penicillin is to pawn it off on others. I’m not ashamed to admit that. At this stage, if it works, why fix it.

She’ll be back in 2 months for more blood tests, as her bloods haven’t gone back to normal and it was potentially a virus or strep. But either way, they can both take months to leave her system, or even a year! Hopefully, we’re on the road to recovery. But her fear of doctors is now real, and she’ll give them as good as she gets.

In essence, be prepared to be shit on, pissed on, spat on and not be able to complain. They’re your offspring and it’s the joys of parenting. Welcome to parenthood.

 

Social Media Boasting…sorry Bashing

The funny thing about parenting is ….that shock, horror, parents post pictures of their children online.

I read a piece recently in the Irish Times. It actually didn’t have any purpose, any opinions so to speak except for being a little vent about all the latest photos of kids online.

But hey, what would I know. I am one of those mothers that posts pictures of my child on Instagram, on Facebook and on Twitter. And I surely must be doing this to just show off as I must not mention the bad times.

This actually couldn’t be further from the truth.

I did not post my pregnancy news on Facebook. Very few people knew I was pregnant. This was probably down to the fact that subconsciously I was afraid of people being ‘judgey’ and by that I mean as in ‘oh look at her posting her pregnancy news, now all we’re going to hear about is the baby this and baby that’. Interestingly enough, when I eventually posted a photo of myself and the hubby posing beside a pram-it actually got more likes and comments than even my wedding photos. With that came ‘where are the baby pictures and why didn’t you post pictures of your bump?!’. I lived in London at the time and family were kept up to date via various means of communication-from FaceTime to album sharing. It was only when Paige was 7 months old that I realised that there was this huge community online that I knew nothing about and probably could’ve utilised when I was on maternity leave. It was also 3 days before I returned to work that I posted an actual picture of Paige on my Facebook. One where everyone could see her cute little face and hairless head. Since then, I have gone on to post hundreds(and I mean hundreds) of pictures of her on Instagram and not so many hundreds on Facebook. But the reality is, my pictures of me apparently boasting on Facebook receive many, many more likes than me tagging into Coppers (one time people, one time!). Surely I can’t be the only one who looks at my Facebook Staus Bar thinking really?! What am I meant to say?!

If you’ve been on Facebook for X amount of years, you’ve probably checked into tonnes of places and in reality now you’re just sat at home watching X Factor on a Saturday night. I think the reality is that as we grow older, we evolve and yeap, that means people start having babies and they pretty much consume all their time. I also think we kind of get fed up checking into places as we’ve probably been there already.

Within my friends group on Facebook, the majority are settling down, getting married, buying houses and along come the little sprogs who manage to get more likes out of us rather than us being absolutely twisted in a bar. Who knew? (Aren’t we all secretly cringing at the absolute state of us all back in 2005/2006 and so on when we took pictures on a digital camera🙈).

This leads nicely to the whole thing of embarrassing our children. Really? I think we embarrassed ourselves hideously when digital cameras and iPhones and any phone with a camera came out. Our generation invented the selfie for christs sake-so with any luck our children will look at that and think-god you embarrassed yourselves way more than the pictures you took of me😂

I look at my postings on Instagrams as memories that one day Paige will be able to look through and go ‘wow, you truly love me’ and with that I mean through everything. Through the tantrums, through the sickness and through the blissful moments. My aim is to chart her growth, her inner beauty and her wonderment of the world around her-from pointing at stars to getting acquainted with the sea and sand. I want to capture everything that I can. Working full-time means that from time to time, I do miss precious ‘firsts’ so to speak, but I try to be around to capture everything I can. I want to have memories that she will eventually be able to look upon and for her to show her children, her friends, partners, family later on down the line.

I love looking back at albums that my parents have stowed away, but now it’s so much easier. I am also terrible at printing out photos and usually upload and empty pictures from my phone every month, so having this ability to go online and remember a picture by looking at the date and remembering why I posted it is special. I’m not asking people to like them. I really couldn’t care less whether they like it or not, just unfollow me or unfriend me.

I’ve unfollowed people for posting the same stuff day in day out, I don’t have to like their posts. I am still friends with them, I’ve just unfollowed them. I’ve also seen people repeatedly post stuff that they have no idea about. At least we’re not posting cryptic messages saying how much someone has annoyed us, but won’t say who or why!?!

I’ve also made some amazing friends online all through the power of our mutual adoration of our children and we’ve all been their to handhold if something isn’t quite right, if they’ve needed a vent or even just needed to see if something is normal. The power of this has been amazing. To know that you’re not alone, as sometimes parenting can be so isolating- as you do tend to lose touch with some friends- because we may not want to always air our frustrations with potty training or how our child is tantrumming because they wanted ‘something nice’ but everything you gave them was not ‘nice’ is a huge relief.

Instagram and Facebook, and for those that I follow is a huge support. It’s an amazing network of parents who want to help each other – don’t get me wrong, there are a few out there who will bash other parents for doing something wrong or will say everything in their lives is perfect – but I choose not to follow them, for my own sanity.

I suppose this whole idea of oversharing works both ways, and no matter which way you look at it, we all move on. We will always lose friends as time goes on. We are all growing up in the world of social media, and if someone wants to unfollow me for posting pictures of my child because they don’t want to see her, that’s fine, it doesn’t bother me. Just like I don’t really have time to go out that much anymore now that I’ve bought a house, and have a child to look after. That’s evolution. We’re all slowly growing up and our priorities change and thus our outlook on life and what’s important to us changes. And is posting pictures of our child on Facebook or Instagram really any different to posting a selfie or a picture of our OOTD or dog any different?

I don’t think so. We post what we care about most, and what makes us smile each day. Surely that’s all that matters.

 

 

The Perfect Body

On my due date

 

The funny thing about being a parent is… that for women, our bodies may never be the same after giving birth – again – ever!

The other night I watched ‘The Portland Hospital’ and was so disappointed with the young, 24 year old Fashion Designer and how she said how men may go looking for another woman if their wives bodies didn’t return back to normal -no stretchmarks, fat belly (not her exact words but this is the gist of it) and she was clearly afraid that this might happen to her. For me, the first thing that sprang to mind was ‘Seriously, your husband loves you for who you are, not your body’ especially not after bringing a child into the world. I was disappointed that that is what she believed. I was disappointed that, that actual thought was in her head and she was mulling it over and put it out there for everyone to hear. No woman should think like that! We are all beautiful. End of. If he doesn’t like you for a stretch mark, then so long and you shouldn’t cry over it!

For any mother that’s carried a baby, we all know that the child inside, the little life that is relying on you to survive, has done turns, somersaults, swung out of your ribs, kicked you in the lungs and stomach. That little life made your tummy grow into a protective little (or big in my case) shell. One which you put your hand on daily. One which people looked at so lovingly. One where you could actually see them moving on a daily basis. That original flutter of feeling those first teeny kicks. I could always feel these flutters when she heard the tube pulling into the station as the noise disturbed her! Or when you were sitting at the desk and had to move back as the baby was being slightly squished. Feeling the baby squirm and move around is amazing, but it’s also doing something to your body!

As a mother, your boobs grew and grew and grew. Gone were the nice bras and knickers. Gone were the underwired bras as they hurt too much. In with the maternity bras that were there just as a teeny tiny support, as let’s face it, they were still uncomfortable as hell and our boobs just rested on the bump! I already have naturally big boobs, and so being pregnant, made them grow and grow and grow! I did try and find nice underwear, but come on-sometimes you just want comfort! And that’s allowed. It’s not easy carrying all that extra weight around is it? But, when you’re pregnant, you can wear those skin tight dresses and show off that bump without feeling like you’ve slightly over indulged in some dinner and have a food baby, as you’ve got a real baby in there! A real living baby who you are proud to show off!

There’s been so much in the media focusing on what’s right for a woman’s body to look like after birth, but it really is completely down to the woman herself. Some women bounce back to their pre-pregnancy body pretty sharpish, some don’t, and no one has any right to judge.

If you’ve had a C-Section, you really can’t do much until the scar heals completely. If you’ve had a natural birth, you’re going to be sore. If you had an episiotomy, you’ll be sore down there for a few weeks/months. Stretchmarks take time to fade. The belly takes time to get back to its normal size. Your boobs may never be the same again. But each person is different. In London, I didn’t have the time to get to the gym, the hubby worked long hours and would sometimes leave the house at 6am and not arrive home until 9pm and all the while, I had a baby who fed all the time and was on the go constantly. Then I went back to work-I probably could have gone to the gym on my lunchbreak, but most days I’d have stuff to do and would generally work through lunch or just get out for a walk.

I think, we as society need to change our children’s perception on what is beautiful. I’ve always had stetchmarks. I’ve had them on my legs, butt, hips and boobs. It’s completely down to our skin not being elastic enough and growth spurts. I used to be able to wear those skintight dresses with ease, even after a huge meal (and I still had stretchmarks underneath that no-one saw). I rubbed my bump all the time with oils, skin creams and still got stretchmarks. They are fading, but now I just dress appropriately for how I feel on the day. I have days where I dread trying on clothes as some shops are shrinking the size of their clothes, so in some shops I’ll be 14, in others a 16-18 and if I’m lucky, a 12 in some! I’ve still not bounced back to my pre-baby body. I’m not sure I ever will.

Once you practice a healthy lifestyle, and bring your kids up the right way, who are others to judge you. The media has no right to influence what the perfect woman should look like, they have no right whatsoever judge women on what they look like during pregnancy or after. All that matters is that they’re healthy. Creating this idealistic view will only serve us to influence our offspring negatively.

Whether you’re in the media spotlight or not, it shouldn’t matter because we don’t know the story behind every single pregnancy do we? These women are bringing the future of the world to life, and to do that, their bodies are under immense strain. The childbirth alone puts some amount of pressure on the body. When pregnant, everything inside you shifts. And with this, comes a shift to how your body was before. For me, I have a constant ache in my lower back. It’s one of the side affects of the epidural. I didn’t actually plan on having the epidural but after 20 hours in labour, I needed to be induced in a way as I was not progressing in labour. But it was a rick I had to take as they were planning an emergency C-Section. So my body has never been the same. My boobs have gone up a couple of sizes (and everytime I get them measured, people tell me I had it well?!).

My husband still loves me for me. Stretchmarks, pot-belly and big boobs all included. I believe that when you love someone enough and see them go through that much pain(no matter what type of birth) and trauma to bring a life into the world, they’ll love you forever for being that brave and beautiful.

No one has the right to judge anyone’s body shape or size. But unfortunately we live in a world where people think they do.If anyone takes anything from this post, it’s to think twice before saying anything to people about their weight at all, as you just don’t know what demons they may be battling on the inside. We are all human. We all have feelings. To create a positive body image for you and your family, you need to feel confident and if you feel you need to shed a few pounds, do it the right way, by eating healthily and getting regular exercise -even a quick walk. I get off the train a stop early which means I walk an extra 15 minutes, not much but it’s a start!

Enjoy your kids and don’t let other people’s perception of beauty cloud your judgement.

9 Days before my due date